The Love of Snugs

What should be the color

For my hair she said

Why it is simple

It should autumn red

Flowing like a river

Cascading into the sea

Crashing upon the shore

Of my upper body

Take in its essences

Its aromatic flavor

Delicate hints of angels breath

Take her in and savor

Beauty unwarranted

But nonetheless ingrained

Has fanned my inner desires

Burns with the heat of her flame

I want her blood in my veins

Wrestle passions to the ground

Twisted souls rejoice

Salvation is to be found

Never before had imagined

Such a delightful tryst

One cannot hope but wonder

When will be the next instance

Rememberance

There is a certain stillness

When even the gentle flutter of a butterfly’s wings feel like a hurricane

The moment when crashing waves fall asleep

Peacefully

Lost in the serenity of salty dreams

When tall trees stand to attention and every leaf pauses

Takes a deep breath and holds it

It is here

Beneath the maddening silence I hear your name

An echo of you

A Higher State of Self

What is fate?

Are we preordained to follow a path of another’s design?

Or are we able to choose our own?

Can we find our way back when we are lost?

Or is being lost part of the journey of finding who we are?

I have traveled

I have lost who I was

Yet gained who I was to become

I have remnants of a past yet to bury

Chains that shall weigh me down no more

I am taking the harder choice

But empowered that I need not go alone

I shall become me

I shall grow

I shall be

That in which I was always fated to be

A man

A father

A husband

A friend

A poet

A sage

The hero of my own soul

I am better than I allowed myself to be

I am now my own becoming

I am my own road

I am

Humanity

Back to the front

Return to the end

End of the begin

Begin reboot sequence

Losing what I became

Slipping into what I’ll become

Will I act upon inner desires

Or from them will I run

Truth told I want to give in

Embrace the chaos

Live in the sin

Does it make me bad

To give into this vice

Or shall I just be tempted

In eternal strife

I will change

These strings will not hold me down

But I wonder what will happen

When I am finally unbound

Will I enjoy it all

For all the right reasons

Or will I give into selfishness

For it tis the season

I want to touch

That in was denied

Relish in that heat

Bringing closure when inside

I feel if I burn this out

It will not bother me again

Just now I will bide my time

For it is only a matter of when

Renewed in rain

I feel the rain falling

Coursing down my skin

Taking from me my pain

Sins from within

In it I find comfort

As this manna from heaven flows

Washing away the ugliness

Of thoughts nobody knows

I wish I could stay awhile more

Have this fill me to the brim

But I know I must leave soon

Leaving yet a layer that is grim

Will I conquer my darkness

Will I find tranquility this time

This is a lesson I ponder

As I step back into sunshine

Tempered frustration

I never expected much out of life other than the basics.  This notion applies to people too.  So imagine my distress yesterday when noticing the disrepair of my daughters clothing.  Not that I should complain I guess, but why would someone let their little girl go to school with several holes in their pants?  Granted, it was just the knee, but still.  Our child is not some lowly waif or abandoned orphan.  She has two parents that take care of her.  I assumed that my ex would be able to keep her in decent clothes, but really, is that too much?  So today, I decided to rectify some of this situation and took my girl shopping.  That was a fun experience in which I learned something I didn't know either, she owned no pairs of jeans.  Well, four pairs later and several tops and other items, I do believe she is good to go for a while.  I just am not looking forward to tomorrow night when I drop her off and the impending questioning begins.

Things like that just give me a big case of the grrrrrrrs!

Trying to figure things out

I will be the first to admit, I don't like the dating scene.  The entire being single and figuring out if someone likes you or if you like them.  Its so complicated.  Why can't it be simple?

Take the fact that there is a woman that I like, and she likes me the same way.  Problem is, she is already seeing someone.  How did I even get into that situation?  Why did she never tell me before that she was seeing someone?  And the feelings keep getting deeper and more complex.  Do I walk away?  Do I keep seeing other people to as potential for more than friends?

Well the answer to that is yes I do try and date and see how things are with other women too.  Am I hung up on one?  No.  I worry a little that I will move on and she may try and lay claim, but by then it is too late.  If things were simply she would give me more than the passing glance and a little thought.  And maybe there in lies the truth.  That I do worry and that holds me back.

How can one move forward when one is so sidetracked?